We are extra clever and want to give back to the community by donating some of our cleverest wisdom so that you, too, can live a happy, clever life. Here are some of the ways that we have pulled the clever lever on life. They are in no particular order.
Mt. Cleverest List
You can never have too much Polypro gear.
Cool Ranch Doritos are the best chips ever made for sandwiches, maybe just the best chips ever.
Don’t ever eat a mid-mountain restaurants. They are for suckers.
Only bet on sure things.
Open your beer before you drink it.
Sriracha is just okay. It has been overhyped.
Skiing is one of the quickest ways to get down a mountain.
Half-day lift tickets are a rip-off. There are only a few exceptions to this.
The moon isn’t really made of cheese. But it could be.
Sex in a gondola is not considered part of the mile high club for some stupid reason.
Skiing in big groups rarely makes everyone in it happy.
80% of mutual funds underperform the market. (It’s true)
If you try to walk between the base areas at Loveland, you’re going to have a bad time.
Keystone offers more skiing hours per dollar than anywhere in Colorado.
Most skiing accidents/injuries happen on the last run of the day. The sun is at a weird angle and everyone is tired. Know this.
When picking your kid up from ski school, bring a snack for him/her. You know why.
Monarch is the best kept secret mountain in Colorado.
Whether you have pot on you or not, when you leave the state, the police think you do. Be advised.
If you have never eaten an edible before, take 1/4 of what anyone suggests and stay home that night.
Everyone has to fart in the gondola. Not everybody should.